Or any ecstasy, for that matter

Listen up, youths of the world. Gather ’round as Excellent Role Model Brett gives you a lesson on the cold, hard realities of life.

Sometimes you might find yourself with all your friends in a really cool club in England having a great night. That’s awesome. “Viva laMacclesfield, Cheshire!” as the saying goes. But, if anyone offers you a Nintendo-branded pill and tells you that you’ll have an even better time, don’t trust them.

Article image

You see, that pill won’t give you the happy moments like when you playDuck Huntfor hours on end. No, it’ll make you “roll” for hours on end, because that pill was ecstacy and you just did drugs and drugs are bad. And, Nintendo most certainly does not endorse illicit amphetamine use, so you can be sure that these tricksters are using fake branding because they’re caught up in their trickster ways.

Unfortunately, it’s probably an inevitability that you’ll eventually be offered drugs, so when that moment presents itself, calmly reply “Destructoid is MY anti-drug!” Everyone will know what you mean, and, more importantly, they’ll respect you far more than if you popped their dumb pills.

A battle scene in Battlefield 6 Open Beta

Nintendo pills: Three teenagers rushed to hospital after consuming super-strength ecstasy tablets[Mirror viaNeoGAF]

capcom evo moment 37

GigabyteMon

A snap of the upcoming MESA update in PEAK

Naked Snake sneaking around in MGS Delta.

Battlefield 6 aiming RPG at a helicopter

BO7 key art

yordles animation still image

Milla Jovovich portraying Alice in Resident Evil 2002, wearing a red dress and holding a gun in her hand.